Last Reflection...

I have learned to go after the things I want head first. (And much more amazingly....I learned how to blog.)


Reading my blog, I was first struck by the smile that emerged on my face. I've really enjoyed writing this and it was fun for me to read.


1. My first blog indicated my apprehension about my future, near and far, and I think my confidence has grown throughout this semester. I mean...I KNOW my confidence has grown. Better. I really do feel better about my possibilities if still naturally intimidated about the work it will take to reach them. I was searching for a drive to succeed, not all the answers, and in that I feel this class really helped me.


2. My thinking has developed in that I try to focus on certain tasks as opposed to always the broader picture. There will always be time for day dreaming about hypotheticals. I also feel more assured that I can make it. I've always been scared, not just of not being successful, but of falling off the map all together. Sher has really helped me in understanding that no matter what job experience or credentials I have, with hard work such fears are irrational. Her book expressed many thoughts I've long believed but she really brought them down to earth for me.



3. Well, this is certainly the first time I've ever posted anything on this crazy contraption. But I'm a full fledged blogger now; so now I understand what all the kids are talking about these days. Seriously though, I have always avoided computers and have relied on the campus computer for Internet throughout the semester. I do understand living in the past is unrealistic and probably detrimental, but give me a break, I am a History major. I've enjoyed this blog and since I do enjoy writing I look forward to using it again.


Another new thing I did was walking into a school and asking for a volunteer job for the first time. Nothing has come of it yet but it did feel good. I also walked into the head of the MAT program and talked to him for awhile; it wasn't the experience I was hoping for but it was helpful. This class has helped me get moving on such things. I've always felt comfortable talking to people face to face and I don't mind first meetings but that doesn't mean I don't procrastinate on getting them done. This class helped me get past that.




4. I really enjoyed the positive attitude of the class. It was nice to be in a class where it felt like everyone was in it together. I also enjoyed the Sher reading (see above). The group meetings were a lot of fun and really were helpful (yeah, we bonded).

5. I felt we didn't discuss the readings enough. It was a lot of reading and I usually take note of things to talk about in class as there were many parts of the readings that I think could have been debated/discussed. But of course I understand we only had one class a week. I can't really think of anything else...and I really tried.

6. I liked Michelle's idea of going on a field trip.
I also think going over some of our free writes with the whole class a bit more could have been interesting.

Thanks to everyone for a great semester. And to the Professor, I hope you enjoy your new career.

Buddy Meeting

Dusan and I met up and quickly realized our situations mirrored each other in many ways. We both felt overwhelmed with our 18 credit hours and the end of the semester work still looming. We both are trying to graduate at the end of the year and are struggling with what we should do for grad school. Finally, even our interestes coincided. Dusan talked about his strong interest in community development and his looking into the Great Cities Program at UIC. I told him about how I'd just attended a lecture their on Tues. and my own interest in community developement; although not to the same level of his own. It was a fun meeting and nice to talk to someone else who is figuring out what they want to do and then how to balance that with what the people around them want.

Dusan:

Report in- He emailed professor Short about th Town and Country Planning Master's degree and looked at the Great Cities Program at UIC.

His Problems- Dusan said his main problem right now is his work load because of which he didn't research more grad school options. He also is facing conflict with his family over whether or not he can take some time off as he wants. He is getting support from his step father however.

His Upcoming Schedule- He plans to finish his Communication paper so he can then look into more schools and finish his course schedule for next semester; something I should probably do myself. He also will start preparing for his internship next semester. And if he doesn't do those things he will be hearing it from me!

Yours Truly-

Report in- I talked to my family about grad schools. First my stepmother and father who were both excited about the idea of me going to Indiana University but I'm not so sure that's realistic for me. But hey, this is no time for pessimism so I'm going to give that a shot; especially since my family has a history there. I also will apply to IUPUIN in Indianapolis along with UIC; my first choice. Don't want to let Chicago go just yet.

My Problems-

I'm worried about my GPA and hoping to keep my head above water in the waning weeks of this semester. I can't afford a collapse at this point.

Schedule-

I need to write 3 papers next week so I really do need to focus on those. I'll worry about my future next Monday because I'll have time then and what better time is there think about what I've done with my life than my Birthday?

Homework # 9

Hey I hope everyone had a good Halloween. The main task I achieved, which I wrote on my card, was setting up an appointment with Robert Johnston who is the head of the program I'm trying to enter here at UIC. I emailed him and we settled on next wed. morning as the time. He seemed very nice and welcoming; using phrases like "delighted to hear from you" and such. It really was encouraging and it seems like it will be a fun meeting. I don't have much formal experience with interviews but I enjoy talking face to face with people and I'm confident I will seem like a better candidate in person than I do on paper. I look forward to blogging about it.
I also reached out to my formal English teacher Mr. McCarty but I've yet to hear back from him. I remembered hearing a while back that he was at UIC now so I used their "Find People" tool to get his email. A part of me is concerned it was the wrong person so I need to do some more research. It felt great though thanking him (assuming it was him) for the letter of inspiration he gave me ten years ago and the help he gave me in Junior High. I feel it would have to be fun for him to read because we all like to be remembered and it's fun to hear you've made an impact in someone's life. It was cathartic for me as I always regretted not visiting him.
So, I'm excited about my upcoming interview but, unfortunately, I still have not caught up with my role model interviews. No excuses, I don't know why I've lagged so far behind on this and made it more difficult than it should be. I have though been researching possible graduate schools around the country which was on my flow chart but I'm hoping my interview with Mr. Johnston will give me a better understanding where I stand and which schools would be open to me.

I would like to just share some of my thoughts on "The Secret". I really enjoyed the movie and feel, for the most part, it was an important message. I talked about it with some classmates after the film about how our mind possesses more power than we give it credit for. In the end, all we have is our relationship with our own mind, and which thoughts we choose to dwell on can decide the type of life we lead. In many ways, it's simple common sense. The notion that happy people are more successful with other people or that positive attitudes will achieve better results seems rather clear, but the key is it has to be genuine. And that is what makes it difficult. "The Secret" isn't easy as the film suggested; it takes a lot of inner focus. Knowing it doesn't mean we can achieve it. Happy/positive people that don't seem true to themselves are not necessarily more successful at all. But people do respond to people who understand themselves and are driven to embrace what life gives us. "The Secret" to me is just a realization that time and life can only be experienced in our own way and with the parameters we set. That is immense power.
We see the power of the mind in stark terms when we witness evil. The kind of pain people can cause is amazing and it is the culmination of extreme negative thinking; the positive end of the spectrum is equally possible and just as powerful.
I did disagree with the film's implication that we should ignore negative emotions such as guilt. I agree with Sher that this is completely unrealistic and problematic. We should listen to ourselves and try to understand why we feel the way we do; then try and move on. If we pretend like we can brush things like grief aside then we are demeaning ourselves. Bad things happen and mistakes occur. They should receive their due credit but we often give them too much credit, which is maybe what the film really meant. Also, doctors and medicine are part of this universe and are as natural as anything else, so they should always be fully embraced. Our mind is powerful but it still needs help. It's powerful enough to make proper decisions like listening to doctors, even if the news isn't what we wanted.
Thanks for reading this if you made it all the way through. Just my opinions. Let me know if you have any thoughts.